Telling Your Story

The 5 C's Why do we pay attention to some people and not others? Why are some personalities more engaging? They seem more “worth listening to” or “watching?” What is about them, or what is it about what they do that makes them captivating? Why do we want to engage, or give them our attention? If you see it, you know it. Some people are just good with words. When we witness good “storytelling,” it’s like magic. Think of the greatest preachers. The great orators. The celebrities. The stand up comedians. They all have their own version of “speech giving,” but when they are talking — weaving that story together with their words, their non verbal communication, their voice, their hands, their eyes — all the things that come from them and that SHOW US who they are and how they think… …why are we paying attention? What are some of the ingredients to their magic? I’m calling them the “5 Cs” today, to help illustrate those characteristics and to try to hook some examples to them. As we always do, my West Coast based host Ms. Linda McShan and I worked through this LIVE, together, and explored the 5 C's on this podcast (listening time: 1 hr.) I hope these 5 C’s makes sense…they were a quick word tool I could use to give us those “learning hooks” to hang onto. The first "C": Character I thought of a couple of examples, on the fly, and shared them as illustrations: Dave Chappell - his brand is righteous criticism, based on his real life experience of America’s affliction called racism. He is authentic. Funny. Dave Chappell tells the truth without offending people, while simultaneously calling us out the way only he can do. We like not only his stand up comedy but his stand-up character. Mark Cuban - he is the good guy, smart, caring — and besides his phenomenal success in tech startups and owning the Dallas Mavericks, he also developed and launched a solution to offer straight-to-consumer prescriptions to fight big pharma price gouging. We also appreciate him for his character. Al Sharpton - he is a civil rights advocate, elegant and plain speaking. He is the "let’s get into some good trouble" guy and we thank him for his character. Words are like magic. Ms. Linda was mulling while I was raising these examples, and commented that what came to mind for her was the word: “heartfelt.” "When people move from the heart, that’s what makes them authentic," she said. "An authentic person will always be truthful," she continued. "The knot that ties it all together is the phrase 'heart felt. ' No matter how you are moving out there, you are going to be felt" (if you lead with your heart). The second "C": Conflict Conflict often serves as a catalyst for change because it exposes underlying issues that require attention, forcing individuals or groups to reassess their situations. When people face conflict, they are motivated to resolve it, either by adapting their behavior, improving communication, or finding creative solutions. Conflict pushes people out of their comfort zones, sparking growth, innovation, and transformation. Conflict engages us . When we see conflict skillfully managed, we may be in awe of the person's power and capacity to influence outcomes, guide others, and initiate meaningful change. Martin Luther King comes to mind as an example. Historians and scholars have observed that arguably one of the greatest inspirations for King was the idea of change. This is what many consider to be his main motivation: changing the status quo. People are drawn to those who are motivated to explore and resolve conflicts and confusion in life. I use my own blog and these podcasts to turn over ideas, and hopefully offer some insights or useful information that can help others explore these same, very human issues, concerns, or emotional upsets. Conflict isn't fun, but by turning adversity into opportunities for improvement, we show our strength in transforming challenges. We can produce actionable results in our own lives. The third "C": Colorful
The third “C” that I chose to help explain my musings on this topic is “colorful.” What are examples of people who have been effective using words that evoke emotion? What makes those words colorful, or emotionally impactful. For example, Frederick Douglass quotes may hit you in the gut with their impact, because of the way they are selected and the impact they have. He was a master at using descriptive, impactful, emotional language that has the capacity to stir someone’s feelings. “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men,” is one quote attributed to Douglass. He also said: “Find out what any quiet people will submit to and you will find the exact measure of their oppression.” These quotes reflect his beliefs about freedom, education, and the struggle for justice. And they endure today. Talk about being memorable! The fourth "C": Cadence When telling your story, it's important to keep a good rhythm, vary the pace, make effective use of verbal expressions and catch phrases. Use your non verbal communication, timing or your words or the way you move from one communication to the next. You can use a directive phrase such as "listen to this" to get someone's attention. You can use questions, "Why do I think this," as an example...to lead into the point you want to emphasize. "Let me tell you a story." Ms. Linda pointed out "it's about the flow." "Our lives operate on a cadence." [At this point in the podcast, Ms. Linda shared a personal story about a person wanting to interrupt her and she set a good firm boundary, setting her own "cadence" and not allowing the 'bully' to get a rise out of her.] The fifth "C": Connection
I used song lyrics once in a speech class I taught for undergraduate college students that I hoped help illustrate the poetry of words that capture feelings in a short but impactful way —and, hopefully, made a connection to the young folks who were likely unfamiliar with the song (and the phrase's origin, possibly): You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains ." Not the same as using "colorful" language, but still, think about how the words and stories or songs that you share as you tell your story can help establish a connection to your audience. So, in our meandering, loosely structured and often messy unscripted way, we summarized the 5C's sort of this way:
1. Character convey personal traits be authentic use your unique cultural and language background
2. Conflict articulate motivations share struggles demonstrate your effectiveness as influencing or creating resolutions
3. Colorful use descriptive language share the impact use words that evoke emotion
4. Cadence keep a good rhythm vary the pace make effective use of verbal expressions and catch phrases
5. Connection convey common experiences—e.g. fear, joy, nostalgia—that are relatable seeks to establish a connection with common human experiences Start sharing your story. Allow your voice to come through.